While digging in the blog-world, I ran into a really funny one (by funny meaning here a bitter, cynical manner of dealing with the "shock and awe" moments) . Seen from the perspective of a man, the blog tells us about various sexual and not-so-sexual ads posted by various ... should I call them men? ... on various dating sites - http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/
Somewhere on the border between surreal and disgusting, with a touch of "how the statistically average man looks like and what is going on in his two braincells", the blog is a discrete invitation to both laughter and frigidity. Why? Because you DO run into all sorts of... people(?) and, during a life time, you hear some weird stories and you have to drink the glass of imbecility to the bottom sometimes. There are no guarantees you are 100% idiot-proofed, regardless what safety measures you take.
Moreover, outside the virtual reality you end up hearing real stories of real relationships. I'd be damned if I manage to understand how and why (and where have the good old strong relations of our grandparents gone), but I somehow ended up with the conclusion that, basically, each and every relation is just a story of misery and who fucked up who in a better way. And no, I do not mean anything like "sex" (which seems to be the biggest fuck-up in basically all the relations I've come to know of); I mean who screwed who, in what circumstances and so on and so forth.
In the same pathetic-to-hysterically-funny manner, the sexual life of both singles and non-singles seems to be more of a wanna-be than of a reality. Singles keep complaining they have nobody to have sex with, while those in a relationship have a wider array of complaints. If you are single, you have to date and hence, to find a suited candidate, invite him/her out, do the bla-bla dance and get laid. Of course there is the simpler way, namely just to get laid with whoever stands in front of you and seems slightly available, but hey... we want romance. Does it get any easier if you are not single? HELL, NO! On the contrary - having a stable sexual partner seems to be the best way to make you non-sexual (with variations on the theme - I am bored, too much routine, I can't date somebody because I would be cheating, nobody would date me because I would be cheating and so on).
I kept wondering, while listening to beautiful, smart and young females, what the hell is wrong with the world. Relations in which your beloved guy is too suffocated to have sex more often than once every now and then (no, I do not know the actual frequency but I somehow doubt it can be called frequency and not better 'random acts of mercy'); relations in which your beloved guy has gone for some time, in search of his personal freedom or whatever, and you end up having some random sex with some random persons; relations in which you stay like a nun for a year, because his PhD and your PhD are in different places, and it is too expensive for him to come pay a visit; relations in which you sleep in the same house, room or even bed with your better half, but you have sex sometimes between once per trimester and never; relations in which trying to buy sex toys proves to be a sex-killer, since the cost of the toys is too expensive for one of the two (generally, the not-so-interested one); relations in which you watch a porn and mourn, while your partner is writing a very important article.... should I continue?
Does this make us less sexual beings? I wouldn't bet on this - all the hormones relaxing somwhere in a remote mountain spa, very very far from you, are beemed back to you the second you see/meet somebody desirable. If you are single, you might think you are lucky (well, actually wait till you get to the first date and ... write on that blog after;) ); if you are not single, it becomes even funnier - you want to have sex, but doing it with the regular partner would be too much (not like you should change the routine; plus, it raises questions); doing it with the desired partner is barely possible; doing it on your own seems to be a working version, till you run up into a solution for all your problems (and I mean all, who the hell thinks that you can have sex without solving all the other existential questions?)
What should you do, if you actually plan to have a sex-life ... stay single or not? Adam, choose yourself a wife. Oh... let me try to make Eve first ... you might have a wider array of choices ;)
Somewhere on the border between surreal and disgusting, with a touch of "how the statistically average man looks like and what is going on in his two braincells", the blog is a discrete invitation to both laughter and frigidity. Why? Because you DO run into all sorts of... people(?) and, during a life time, you hear some weird stories and you have to drink the glass of imbecility to the bottom sometimes. There are no guarantees you are 100% idiot-proofed, regardless what safety measures you take.
Moreover, outside the virtual reality you end up hearing real stories of real relationships. I'd be damned if I manage to understand how and why (and where have the good old strong relations of our grandparents gone), but I somehow ended up with the conclusion that, basically, each and every relation is just a story of misery and who fucked up who in a better way. And no, I do not mean anything like "sex" (which seems to be the biggest fuck-up in basically all the relations I've come to know of); I mean who screwed who, in what circumstances and so on and so forth.
In the same pathetic-to-hysterically-funny manner, the sexual life of both singles and non-singles seems to be more of a wanna-be than of a reality. Singles keep complaining they have nobody to have sex with, while those in a relationship have a wider array of complaints. If you are single, you have to date and hence, to find a suited candidate, invite him/her out, do the bla-bla dance and get laid. Of course there is the simpler way, namely just to get laid with whoever stands in front of you and seems slightly available, but hey... we want romance. Does it get any easier if you are not single? HELL, NO! On the contrary - having a stable sexual partner seems to be the best way to make you non-sexual (with variations on the theme - I am bored, too much routine, I can't date somebody because I would be cheating, nobody would date me because I would be cheating and so on).
I kept wondering, while listening to beautiful, smart and young females, what the hell is wrong with the world. Relations in which your beloved guy is too suffocated to have sex more often than once every now and then (no, I do not know the actual frequency but I somehow doubt it can be called frequency and not better 'random acts of mercy'); relations in which your beloved guy has gone for some time, in search of his personal freedom or whatever, and you end up having some random sex with some random persons; relations in which you stay like a nun for a year, because his PhD and your PhD are in different places, and it is too expensive for him to come pay a visit; relations in which you sleep in the same house, room or even bed with your better half, but you have sex sometimes between once per trimester and never; relations in which trying to buy sex toys proves to be a sex-killer, since the cost of the toys is too expensive for one of the two (generally, the not-so-interested one); relations in which you watch a porn and mourn, while your partner is writing a very important article.... should I continue?
Does this make us less sexual beings? I wouldn't bet on this - all the hormones relaxing somwhere in a remote mountain spa, very very far from you, are beemed back to you the second you see/meet somebody desirable. If you are single, you might think you are lucky (well, actually wait till you get to the first date and ... write on that blog after;) ); if you are not single, it becomes even funnier - you want to have sex, but doing it with the regular partner would be too much (not like you should change the routine; plus, it raises questions); doing it with the desired partner is barely possible; doing it on your own seems to be a working version, till you run up into a solution for all your problems (and I mean all, who the hell thinks that you can have sex without solving all the other existential questions?)
What should you do, if you actually plan to have a sex-life ... stay single or not? Adam, choose yourself a wife. Oh... let me try to make Eve first ... you might have a wider array of choices ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment